Author speaker and love coach, Persia Lawson has brought us her top six tips on how to find real love in the world we live in today. Persia is helping millennials attract (+ sustain) soulful relationships in the chaos of the modern dating world.
Appreciate The Love You Already Have
It took me years to learn that, if I stopped looking for the romantic love I felt I lacked and instead directed all my attention towards appreciating and investing in the friends, family and pursuits that I already had in my life, the more empowered, confident and attractive I’d naturally start to feel as a by-product. After all, you’ll never feel disappointed by not meeting the love of your life on a night out – or on holiday, or at a wedding – if that was never your priority in the first place. Better still, you’ll create space for romantic love to show up when you (genuinely) least expect it.
Stop Hiding Who You Really Are
One of the biggest issues many of my love-coaching clients struggle with when we first start working together is their tendency to hold back the very information that could lead to real intimacy, connection – and even a great relationship. The reason we’re all so terrified of being honest with the people we date is that we’re terrified we’ll be rejected if we do so. But, ironically, it’s the lack of honesty that often leads us to being rejected, not the other way around. The people who are worth your time, your energy and your heart won’t disappear if you’re brave enough to be vulnerable with them – if anything, it’ll make them so much more drawn to you.
Meditate Your Way To A Soulful Relationship
Meditation is one of the most effective things you can do to up-level your love life. As my friend and I share in our book ‘The Inner Fix’, by slowing down, quietening your mind and turning your focus inwards, you’re then able to become centred and present enough to hear your own personal truth and intuition, which holds many of the answers that you’re seeking. So, when it comes to your romantic life, if what you want is to connect with someone on a deep and soulful level, you must first learn to connect in that way with yourself. (You can get my free guide and ‘attract your soulmate’ meditation over at persialawson.com).
Step Away From The Phone!
Did you know that the average person checks their phone 110 times A DAY?! Or that 61% of us sleep with our phones under our pillow? How about this: 1 in 5 people aged 18-34 have used their smartphones during sex?!! Our tendency to elevate our smartphone’s worth above our partner or date’s means that we’re destroying the real, intimate human connection that gives our romantic relationships meaning. So, do your love life a favour: keep your phone out of the bedroom and off the dinner table – and put all that attention back where it belongs: on the person in front of you.
Keep It In The Date
Before I met my boyfriend Joe, I’d spent a lot of my love life ‘end-gaming’ whenever I was on a date: I was totally focused on whether or not this person was the ‘one’, rather than just being present and letting fate take its course. When you’re actually on a date, the only questions you need to be asking yourself are:
Do I like who I am around this person? Do I feel like MYSELF – or am I ‘performing’ in some way? Am I enjoying myself on this date? Is conversation flowing easily and effortlessly? If it’s meant to be, one date will naturally lead to the next – and the next, and eventually a relationship will form organically without the need for any manipulating whatsoever.
Keep The Focus On YOU A relationship between two people is just a heightened reflection of the relationship each partner already has with themselves. So, whether you’re single, dating or married, make the commitment to keep on nurturing your relationship with you – after all, whatever may happen in your love life, you’re going to be with you until the end. As my dad always says: ‘focus on the insides and the outsides will take care of themselves.’
Persia Lawson is co-author of ‘The Inner Fix’ (Hodder + Stoughton, 2016), a motivational speaker and “one of the UK’s most successful love coaches” – according to The Times magazine. Having once been a serial cheater + obsessive love addict, she’s proud to now be in a healthy, committed relationship and is passionate about helping women attract (+ keep) their own soulmate in the chaos of the modern dating world.
You can find our more about Persia and her book ‘The Inner Fix’ by visiting: www.persialawson.com