Sex toys are one of the many and different ways to give and receive pleasure – and the more pleasure, the better the relationship. By using them, you expand your own and your partner`s pleasure palette. A research LELO conducted last year showed, more couples than ever use sex toys in relationships.
The core of any lasting relationship is communication, and pleasure products can actually provide a door through which more difficult and intimate topics and desires can begin to be discussed.
Sex is not necessarily the most important thing in a relationship, but most people would argue that it is a pillar on which understanding, pleasure, and satisfaction can be built. That’s what pleasure products can offer: a more exciting sexual and sensual life. With 39% of people surveyed* revealing that they would describe their sex lives as ‘regular’ and 37% claiming that there is room for improvement, it seems like now is a better time than any to have that conversation and begin to introduce sex toys.
Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist Kate Moyle, who works as LELO’s sex expert commented: “The focus on introducing a sex toy to a couple’s relationship should be that it’s a positive. It’s not lacking on one partner it’s a focus on bringing them together in a different way. One of the many famous scenes from Sex In The City is Charlotte being unable to bring herself to leave the house because of getting so hooked on her Rampant Rabbit, and that just emphasises the fear that so many people have which is that a toy can do things they can’t. This just isn’t the case – a toy and a person are of course offering different experiences, but they can also be used together to bring in something new. Routine is a passion killer and mixing things up in small ways such as introducing a sex toy can bring different sensations to the experience providing excitement and pleasure. The approach is also key, discuss it as a couple before, don’t spring it on a partner or they will feel caught off guard. Look at a website together and talk about the things you like and do not like the look of – making choosing the sex toy a shared experience”
But how do you get to that? How to introduce sex toys in your relationship?
It’s all about the conversation. Of course, it can be somewhat daunting, especially if it’s something that has never been discussed before. But, introducing sex toys in your relationship can surely add another dimension of pleasure and be a gateway into fulfilling other sexual fantasies one might have. Even though that conversation can be an awkward one – don`t hesitate, it will bring a new shape of excitement to your relationship. The want and need is there, 70% of people surveyed* revealed that including sex toys into their sex lives would improve their sex life drastically.
It can be a lot easier to start the conversation if you do some preparation before. Wonder how to do it? Just like with everything else, if are chickened out, you can put in a message instead. Yes, it might sound childish, but if you do it seducingly, it will come out just right. Perhaps send a link to a few sex toys you are interested in and ask your partner whether he/she used it before, add a smiley face, giggle about it. It’s a great way to show your interest and an intriguing start to open the topic.
But the important thing here is the perspective – reassure your partner that it is 100% not to replace them. Many times, the reason someone will tense up at the mention of a sex toy is because they feel their performance is not good enough and that you are not satisfied with the sex. So, if you explain it`s simply to try something new – the idea will become a lot more appealing.
A lot of studies show that sex toys in a relationship bring more sexual satisfaction, higher sexual desire, and better sexual functioning. So, it’s time to browse lelo.com and open up that conversation.
*LELO UK carried out a survey on 9,195 people around their sex lives