My aunt emailed me this morning. After the “I’m so happy you are traveling, that’s exciting!” and the “I heard you are published in print, congrats!”, she hits me with it:
“So does this mean you are planning on staying single longer?”
Periodically members of my family will ask me about my love life or lack there of. The conversation always leads to marriage, children, two income households, being too old for motherhood (whatever that means-I’m 28), families helping to raise children etc. They cringed when I moved to New York (the fast city isn’t ideal for settling down) and I know they weren’t too keen on me country hopping in Europe. I believe they fear I’ll be alone forever with no husband and children because I waited too long.
I can’t tell them about the men that I’ve been with and entertained. I can’t tell them thats some of the best dates I’ve been on are with men that I will never hear from again. I can’t tell them about making out with guys that I will never see again (that’s another story). I definitely can’t tell them about the sex. How dare I enjoy the single life? How dare I be fine with not having a man at home? How dare I have thoughts of marriage and a family but enjoy dating and being around other men? I know those are their exact thoughts, I just know it.
I write my Aunt back thanking her for her excitement and congratulations, it means a lot to me. On the “single longer” part, I skipped it, sent my love and hit send. She doesn’t actually want me to answer that question.
Writer: Nikita Brown
Editor Paige Russell
